California bans fire.

That's correct. Fire has been banned.

http://articles.latimes.com/2008/mar/08/local/me-fireplace8?pg=1

You pay thousands to live here. You work hard. On the rare cold day in southern California (hopefully around Winter Solstice time-----can't say 'Christmas'---might offend) you decide to light a couple of pine logs in the fireplace and enjoy a glass of red wine....possibly a (gasp) cigar. All is good.

A month later, you open a letter from some government agency. It announces a monetary fine. You owe x amount of dollars to the State.............for burning wood.
Fines will run as high as $500 per violation.

One Redlands woman at the hearing described coughing and "expectorating" every evening on a regular walk through her neighborhood when wood fires are burning.
Colleen Callahan of the American Lung Assn.'s Los Angeles office argued unsuccessfully that the board should restore the measure.

"When a potential homeowner is seeking to purchase a home, they're not going to say 'Where's the wood?' They're going to say where's the clean air in Southern California,' " she said.